Hambo and Bonnibel
by Hcobb
Summary: Finn meets one of his many half-sisters.


[Adventure Time is the creation of Frederator Studios for Cartoon Network. This work is done without their knowledge or involvement. Warning! Contains massive fan speculation to make the timelines fit. Also a mite squicky at the end. -HJC]

I liked playing hide and seek with the palace guards, but that day I outdid myself. I wandered so far away from home, I even crossed the bridge over the river. And that's when I first saw the treehouse.

There was nobody around. I guess everybody knew better. Perhaps there were spells to ward off intruders, but if so the gem in my crown would have protected me from them. I looked around inside, but fortunately I did not climb the ladder to the bedroom. Instead I searched around until I found an old doll with long limbs that I called Mr. Snuggles.

I took Mr. Snuggles to the west window, opened the blinds, and looked out at the last rays of sunset as they faded away. "Boy those guards sure are late finding me this time. Won't they be surprised, right Mr. Snuggles?"

Then I felt it, a chill in the air. I turned around and saw a huge bat-like creature looming over me.

"It was Marceline. Wasn't it?"

"Yes, Finn." I took a sip from my ice cream float and looked around my study. "Now, can I continue? This is important."

"No problems P.B."

I wrapped my arms tightly around the doll and said, "Don't worry, Mr. Snuggles. I'll protect you."

Then Marceline resumed her human form, the same as she looks today, except in a simple dress, and she asked me, "Where are your parents, little princess?"

"My mom lives in the big candy castle over there." I pointed to the bridge over the river.

"And your dad?"

"I don't have a father."

"That's far too common in Ooo. Won't your mother be worried about you?"

"Yes, I guess?"

"Let's get you home then. The fastest way is by air. Did you bring a coat?"

"No, it was warm today."

"But it will be cold up in the night air. Here," She searched around and brought out a t-shirt. "Put this over your pink dress."

I put down Mr. Snuggles and raised up my arms so she could put the t-shirt on me. As I reached over to pick him up again, she seemed so sad.

She took my free hand and said, "Now come along quietly little princess, we wouldn't want to wake the great and powerful wizard who lives here."

"Bonnibel."

"What?"

"My name is Bonnibel. I'm only supposed to tell it to my friends, but you'll be my friend, right lady?"

She led me outside, carefully closed the door behind us, lifted me up in her arms, and said, "And my name is Marceline. Hold on tight, Bonnibel."

"Huh?" Then I looked away from her face and saw that the ground was dropping away from us. "How you do that?"

"Because I'm a vampire." She smiled wide and I saw her fangs. "Aren't you frightened?"

"No." I clutched tightly to her arm. "My mother says that princesses must never be afraid, no matter what." I looked down at the ground moving so quickly under us, as the wind whipped through the shirt and dress I wore. "You're my friend, and that means you won't drop me."

"Don't be so quick to judge us monsters, Bonnibel. Now you must promise me, as your friend, that you will never run away again. You wouldn't want the wizard to eat you, right?"

"Wizards don't eat people."

"Did I mention that he's also a vampire? And Bonnibel, you look so very tasty."

I shivered from the look in her eyes, which suddenly softened.

She began to sing, as we flew through the air. "Hush little baby, don't you cry. Mommy's going to sing you a lullaby."

Entranced, I waited for her to finish her song. Then I shook my head and said, "I'm no baby."

"My apologies, your highness."

"And call me Bonnibel, because you're my friend. You've got a lovely singing voice, Marceline."

"Really?"

"It's the best I've ever heard, honest. Can you sing some more please?"

"Okay, Bonnibel. Anything you want." She sang several more songs and then finally she put me down, twenty paces from the gates of the castle.

I could hear the banana man guards running up and shouting, "Your highness", but I kept my eyes on Marceline, as she drifted back into the air.

"Marceline!"

"What?" She stopped and floated there.

"Take Mr. Snuggles!" I held him up.

"No, I couldn't."

"You don't have any other friends than me, right?"

She floated there silently.

"Then take Mr. Snuggles. He'll keep you company until I visit again."

"As you wish, Bonnibel." She floated up and wrapped her arms around him. "And his name is Hambo."

We both looked over to the sound of clapping.

There was a man floating there in the air. "Taking toys from babies? There's hope for you yet, Mar-Mar."

"I'm no baby!"

"Ash!" She moved to float between us.

"I just never knew that old piece of junk meant so much to you. Now come along and make my breakfast, woman." He reached over and slapped her on the backside, like she was some sort of animal to be urged on. "Before the stench of these rotting candy people ruins my appetite."

At that point the guards took me to my mother, who was crying. She was very cross so I couldn't make another visit to the treehouse for many months. When we finally did get back there as part of a royal visit, I found that Marceline had moved out and a dog had moved in with his young sons.

"Dad, right?"

"Yes, Finn."

He took off his hat and bowed to Mom. "Greetings your highness, Princess Cotton-Candy of the Candy Kingdom."

"No need to be so formal with me, my old friend Joshua. May I present my daughter, Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum."

"It's an honor." He bowed to me as I curtsied. "And may I present my three sons, Jermaine, Jake and Finn."

I couldn't help myself so I asked, "What happened to the lady who used to live here? And why are you here?"

"We do not know where she went. And as for my family," Joshua looked so sad, it made me regret asking, but he continued, "Our old place just had too many memories."

"That was after Mom went away on that trip, right?"

"Yes, Finn. So that is the day I first met my half-brother."

"Huh? Who, Jake?"

"No, Finn. You. Billy was the father of both of us. It's a good thing you got to meet him, before he died. I don't regret kissing you, Finn. But as soon as I found out that you were my brother I started to push you away. I'm sorry I've waited so long to tell you."

"No problems, P.B. I understand it all now."

"Of course we weren't his only children. As a great adventurer, he traveled all over Ooo. For example Sholeh, princess of the Fire Kingdom is also his daughter. That's why she's one of the more human of the fire-folk."

Finn dropped his glass, which shattered on the floor. "No way."

"What is it, Finn?"

"She made me promise, not to tell anybody."

"I'm your sister. You can tell me."

"Sholeh is having our baby."

"Oh dear Glob. Have you done this with anybody else?"

"Susan Strong."

"The half-human leader of the fish folk? She's also his daughter."

"She wants me to move to Beautopia and help raise our baby."

"Is that it?"

"Just Marceline, but that's it. I swear."

"Marceline is the niece of Billy's father, the Ice King. So that makes her your first cousin, once removed. But she knows better, don't you Marceline?"

A familiar shape emerged from the shadows. "Hey, I'm a thousand years old and I've misplaced my moral code. But, I'm a vampire and so no worries about inbreeding on this side."

"Was Finn carrying the Sun Sword at the time?"

"Of course not. He put it down beside us before we did it."

"One of its powers is to negate your vampiric essence."

"Oh! No wonder I've been feeling a bit off these past few months." Marceline floated down wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Congratulations, Finn. You're going to be a father, again."

"Nooooooo!"


End file.
